Days of Awe

My mind is a black hole

And a white hole

And a cardboard box in the rain

And an endless universe.

The sun’s shadow falls across my back and causes me to shiver.

She slips off her evening gown and stands bare and bold against the clouds.

I swallow her with my skin and birth her as the moon.

Someday she will rise above the Earth as the red-bosomed empress of space

And just as surely will crumple into her very core, a mere cinder of the fire she once possessed.

I find my comfort in the early morning rain

In the yellow light of 4:54

In the moments when even the bustling city

Is still.

My psychedelic dreams bloom with the taste of Jolly Ranchers half-melted in the summer heat.

I wipe unfinished universes from the corners of my mouth

And let the words fall from my tongue.

Today is the Day of the Dragonfly

The Day of the Falling Shadows

When my equilibrioception fails me and I can taste the sadness in the air.

Yo no se.

I don’t know anymore.

I wish the earth would come and swallow me up as I plant my feet in the dusty soil of the

Highland Park Hills.

I wish the clouds could lift me away.

I wish…

The quiet is so suffocating, so EMPTY that I can touch it.

Emptiness feels like cotton candy,

Like trying to grab minnows.

I will have my first kiss, my first job, my first death, and when will I ever be happy?

I want to scream and feel blood under my palms.

I want to soar into heaven.

I want to drown in hell.

This life feels like an ouroboros, just without the wholeness.

To hell with that, it is wholeness!

Too much wholeness.

Too much INFINITY.

If I fear the gaping pit of oblivion.

I fear the flashy openness of infinity more.

I fear a start without a finish.

I fear an end before I can truly begin.

But, the roses look so nice today.

The smell of dew tastes like sweet meadow grass as it kisses my nose

Welcoming me back into the quiet loudness of morning.